Thursday, March 26, 2009

Pick Up Lines...seriously?!

Ok...so yesterday I was informed by a friend that Apple has an application that delivers pick up lines to you via your iPhone, iTouch, iPod or whatever other crazy invention Apple thinks of next. UMMM guys...they don't work. Similarly it doesn't work when you honk a horn at girl crossing the street, yell at a girl from your window, whistle at her from the sidewalk...girls, I know you have experienced something similar (do share). So this blog today is dedicated to the best and the worst of pick up lines, and in this case those may be synonymous.

So I'll start it off with my favorites from the iPhone App:

1. Do you have a rasin? (initially I thought this was a gross metaphor) No? Then how about a date?
2. I'm not drunk. I am just intoxicated by you. (UMM seriously....)
3. Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?
4. I know I'm not a grocery item, but I can tell you are checking me out. (there is no way that worked)
5. Are you a parking ticket? Cause you've got fine written all over you.
6. Is that a keg in your back pocket? Cause I'd love to tap that ass.
7. If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
8. Do you have a band-aid? Cause I scraped my knee falling for you.

Ones that my friends have used: (and both worked)

1. I play hockey, want to F&$#.
2. I know more about your body than you.


Curteousy of Barney Stinson: (I love "How I Met Your Mother)

1. Time Travel: The premise is simple: by tricking someone into believing that you are the future version of yourself, you can fool them into believing that the fate of the world lies in their hands. This, then, allows you to inform them that they should hook up with your younger self should they ever meet them.

I mean guys...seriously?!
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5 comments:

  1. UnknownMarch 26, 2009 at 9:17 AM

    Sarah, I think we need to seek a different perspective here. Instead of simply looking at these lines as goofy and offensive male phrases that will result in a slap or smack, we need to think about the people they may actually work on.

    You, and many of our friends, are bright and smart women. You understand how silly these lines are, and may even take small offense to them as an educated woman. However, what about those women who see the humor in these one-liners, and then seek to understand who that guy is behind it? Is this guy really an a-hole, or maybe he just has a sense of humor?

    I do know that many women want a guy who can make them laugh, so instead of turning your back and calling him a creep (unless he is wearing a muscle shirt, a gold chain, and his friends call him Gino), an alternative is to give this guy a few extra moments and see who hey really is... after all, he did have the balls to come up to you (or even a group of you!) and attempt to make conversation, and these are a lot more entertaining then, "so, where are you from," or "I didn't I see you in here last weekend sucking face with a guy?" :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMarch 26, 2009 at 12:50 PM

    Here's a few of my favorites, which, to Richard's point, did make me giggle....

    -Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.

    -Are your legs tired? You've been running through my dreams all night.

    But I agree... seriously????

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownMarch 26, 2009 at 1:16 PM

    "Ever been handcuffed to a radiator?"

    Its a god damn closer.

    ReplyDelete
  4. SarahMarch 26, 2009 at 2:14 PM

    a radiator? windex? really???? ok check this out...

    Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

    oh and check out this site...http://www.pickuplinesgalore.com/

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownApril 22, 2009 at 10:52 PM

    John Cusack from The Sure Thing:
    How would you like to have a sexual encounter so intense it could conceivably change your political views?

    ReplyDelete

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